More than a whisper
Finding my voice through cultural etiquetteLiana Sabnani, Opinions Editor
I know that I’m a loud person. Not just in terms of being passionate about something, but just in general. I hate whispering. I don’t like staying silent. I can’t imagine the idea of sticking to one routine or one place forever. I aim to live more spontaneously, to hop on a plane without a second thought, and to absorb the world from as many different viewpoints as possible. Thankfully, my parents have made that possible. My sister and I have had the chance to explore places like Barbados, Japan, Spain, France, Greece, Italy, and the list goes on. I’ve made it my goal to take notice of the smaller things, specifically when it comes to cultural etiquette. I believe that discovering each country’s unique customs will allow me to keep expanding my perspective and help me see the world from new perspectives.
Japan, in particular, has always been a second home to me. My mom lived there for most of her life, and out of all the places I've been, it’s my favorite. However, I’ve realized that being the loud person I am doesn’t always fit in there. In many Western countries, a hug or a handshake feels like a universal greeting, but in Japan, physical touch is pretty rare. People are quiet on trains, in restaurants, and even in the streets; people pick a job and stick to it throughout their whole lives. Given how spotlessly clean public areas are, the Japanese also view eating or drinking while walking as disrespectful. When surrounded by such exquisite foods, it can be kind of tempting to break this rule. It’s a fascinating way of life—but maybe not entirely me. I admire the sense of peace Japan has to offer, but I don’t think I could ever commit to one career path for life or keep my voice at a whisper forever. Japan may cause me to lower my voice, but that doesn't silence my love for it—I've found that I can feel deeply connected to a place even if I don't fit in flawlessly with its culture.
Spain, on the other hand, is quite the opposite. When you meet someone in Spain, be sure to expect a hug and two kisses—one on each cheek— like you see in the movies. Meals are loud and can go on for hours as dinner typically starts as late as 9 or 10 p.m. At times, it can be a bit overwhelming for someone like me who isn’t a fan of too much physical contact or meals that extend into the night. Then there’s “siesta” (when you nap or simply relax from 2 to 5 p.m.), which I firmly believe should become a global law. Tipping culture is also fascinating; there’s no pressure for a 20% tip like in America. Just a small amount or the leftover change is more than appreciated. Dancing is also something heavily embraced there, such as Flamenco. The performances showcase Spanish culture in a dynamic way. Having pursued Flamenco myself, it's nice to be able to bring it up casually in Spain—without anyone assuming I am talking about "flamingos."
Then there’s Barbados, where my dad dreams of moving back to. Bajans' hospitality is oddly similar to Southern hospitality in America. Politeness is mandatory, and respect for elders is essential. Yet, there’s also a directness there that I really admire. Bajans won’t hesitate to say what they think, but they will say it with a smile. They have a lot of pride in their food (I can’t blame them), and they have a deep connection to nature and their community values. They also deeply value the resources at their disposal, which is why wasting food is strongly frowned upon. No matter where I am in the world, my father always insists I finish every last bite on my plate, honoring a custom that has been passed down through generations. It’s an island that feels refreshingly well-mannered, a quality that I strive to carry with me wherever I go.
These three places—Japan, Spain, and Barbados—have especially shaped me. They have caused me to think more and more about living overseas—my mom votes Japan, my dad votes Barbados, and my sister votes Spain. But despite all of the beautiful formalities I’ve been inspired by, I am who I am because I grew up in America. It’s here that I developed the perfect balance of politeness and directness, my American work ethic, and my love for spontaneity. I don’t see myself ever living anywhere else permanently, though I do and always will love returning to these other places and exploring what I haven’t already.
I may never find a single place to call home, but I've realized that each place I visit becomes a part of who I am, so I'll always be at home.
Yours truly,
Liana
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