Northview’s Horoscope
RipLey Simone Kennebrew, Staff Writer
AQUARIUS: January 20 — February 18
You’re the Charli D'amelio of Northview. People can’t decide on if they absolutely love you, hate you, or don’t know who you are and why you’re posting dancing videos on TikTok. But deep down you are a people pleaser. You worry too much about what others like and how they will respond. You shouldn’t because you have 40+ million followers and over 2 billion likes. That speaks for itself.
Aquarius
PISCES: February 19 — March 20
You stay out of drama because you don’t understand it. Or if you happen to end up in drama, you cry your way out of the situation. You’re on a different planet then all of your peers and you’re the person who sleeps in every class but somehow passes the class with an “A”.
Aries
ARIES: March 21 — April 19
You’re the Beyoncé of the world. Your favorite motto: “Sorry not sorry.” You’re a queen or a king and you know it and you don’t take crap from anyone. Why would you? I wouldn’t if I were Beyoncé.
TAURUS: April 20 — May 20
Be careful on how you approach a Taurus and choose your works very carefully. A Taurus’ emotions are very haywire. There’s no telling how they react to a situation and you’ll usually get one of these two reactions. Let's pose an imaginary question: What color is the sky today Ms. Taurus the bull? 1) Why are you asking me? Go look outside and see for yourself... or 2) It’s the most lovely shade of baby blue today with a sprinkle of lovely white clouds.
Gemini
GEMINI: May 21 — June 20
You don’t have to yell in the hallway for someone to understand what you’re saying, people can already hear you, because you are very very loud.
CANCER: June 21 — July 22
You’re butt hurt 90% of the time because you’re the mom or dad of the friend group, who cleans up after others. You take care of everyone and people love you for that. People hurt you but you forgive them regardless because of your kind heart. Do something for yourself every now and then, it’s okay to take a vacation.
Leo
LEO: July 23 — August 22
Your life motto: “IT IZZ WHAT IT IZZ” and you probably cheated on your AP history exam with a guy from China.
VIRGO: August 23 — September 22
You share the same birthday month as Zendaya so by default you are cool. Heck, your picture is next to the word cool in the dictionary. You’re chill, you get along with everyone, and people can come to you for advice. Keep up the good work.
Libra
LIBRA: September 23 — October 22
Unlike your successful, ex-bandmate, Beyoncé, you are the Michelle of the world, sorry sis. but don’t let that stop you! You’re still a baddie regardless of what others say or do to you, you still shine.
SCORPIO: October 23 — November 21
Don’t mess with Scorpios. point. blank. period. Just kidding, no hard feelings to our October and November babies. These unique creatures are loyal and protective, especially for their loved ones, but are quick to give you that side-eye. Scorpios are strong independent people who don’t take no for an answer. In the famous words of Ariana Grande: “I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it.” Common quotes include, “I don’t have time for this,” and “You know what? Forget it.”
Sagittarius
Graphics by Mira Sydow
SAGIITTARIUS: November 22 — December 21
Michael Scott from The Office is your spirit animal. You’re the king of jokes. Humor is definitely your best quality, and oftentimes you blurt out the first thing that pops in your head without thinking. Your favorite phrase is, “That’s what she said.” Also, you’re probably going to be the president when you grow up. And you’ll probably send messages in your 2020 Senior group chat IN ALL CAPS!!! For no reason, what so ever.
CAPRICORN: December 22 — January 19
You should join “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” because you’d easily fit in. Simultaneously, you’re probably going to be the first person to live on Mars. Or meet the aliens. You live your life on the edge and you’re unpredictable but that’s what makes you the life of the party.
