The negative impact of positivity

McKenna Ryan, Staff Writer

Our whole lives people tell us to stay positive; to not be negative, to just “be happy.” This mindset perpetuated within society, no matter the circumstance, is inevitably toxic. The destructiveness of this well-intended ‘encouragement’ is evident in the most influential aspects of our lives: social media, religion, and personal trauma.

Scrolling through social media, there are countless amounts of posts deemed to be inspirational promoting “good vibes only” and “happiness is a choice/mindset.” In theory, these sayings may seem beneficial; in reality, they can be incredibly toxic. Toxic positivity refers to the belief that no matter how sad or difficult a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset. And while there are benefits to engaging in a positive way of thinking, toxic positivity instead rejects difficult emotions in favor of an excessively false facade of optimism and cheer. This invalidates people’s emotions and makes them feel that it is unacceptable to experience negative emotions, even during their most trying times, breeding toxicity. Furthermore, this pressures individuals to pretend that they are happy even if they are not and encourages them to ignore the issues that contribute to mental illnesses, and invalidate mental illnesses as a whole. What those who preach toxic positivity fail to recognize is that forced optimism and refusal to acknowledge negative feelings doesn't make them go away; if anything, it exacerbates them.

According to clinical psychologists, toxic positivity oversimplifies the human brain and how we process emotions, which is counterproductive and detrimental to our mental health. Research has shown that accepting negative emotions, rather than avoiding or rejecting them, can be more beneficial for a person's mental health in the long run. A 2018 study tested the link between emotional acceptance and psychological health in more than 1,300 adults. Researchers found that those who habitually accept and acknowledge challenging emotions, experience less negative emotion in response to life stressors. Avoiding negative emotions reinforces the idea that, because you neglect them, you don't need to pay attention to them. While trapped in this cycle, these emotions become more significant as they remain unprocessed. This approach is simply unsustainable. 

Toxic positivity and spiritual bypassing are concepts that often intersect. Spiritual bypassing occurs when people use abstract concepts such as their belief in God or universal consciousness to avoid dealing with uncomfortable real-world issues or unpleasant emotions. Psychotherapist John Welwood coined the concept of spiritual bypassing. As a therapist and Buddhist teacher, Welwood began to notice people, including himself, using spirituality as a defense mechanism. Instead of addressing and working through difficult emotions or confronting unresolved issues, people would dismiss them with spiritual explanations. When confronted with adversities, these individuals would claim that "this [tragedy] must have been God's plan." Wellness culture, which exercises ideas of toxic positivity and permanent optimism, is the main source of fuel for spiritual bypassing. It teaches people that they are significantly unwell or unhealthy if they cannot neglect negativity of any kind. This raises an issue as experiencing negative emotions is normal, and feeling them frequently is an indication that there is a need for change. However, spiritual bypassing isn’t always unhelpful. In periods of distress, it can be a way to momentarily ease anxiety or discouragement. Yet researchers suggest that spiritual bypassing can be detrimental when used as a long-term solution to repress emotions as it can affect individual well-being and personal relationships. These consequences include discrepancies such as feelings of shame, spiritual narcissism, excessive tolerance of unacceptable behavior, and emotional confusion.

The encouragement to "look at the bright side" of a situation or to "just be happy" when someone is feeling down, comes from a place of care and concern, but we must consider the impact of these words. People do not typically share negative feelings or emotions in anticipation of someone telling them to stifle these emotions in favor of a positive mindset. "Looking on the bright side” in the face of a tragedy like illness, homelessness, food insecurity, or racial injustice is a privilege that not all of us have. There lies a larger problem when people forcefully appear or act positive in situations where it’s not natural or when there’s a problem that rightfully needs addressing. Refusing to acknowledge that need will only lead to further distress and desolation. Promulgating messages of positivity in the face of negativity undermines the emotions of others, and only serves to alienate and isolate those who are already struggling. 

When breaking apart the complicated puzzle of positivity, there are obviously helpful and healthy pieces. The hard part is differentiating which pieces are with the toxic and harmful ones. The healthy pieces consist of genuine optimism, which, instead of invalidating the emotions you or someone else has, acknowledges them and encourages solution-seeking and healing. Toxic positivity, on the other hand, is akin to a band-aid that you were always told helps heal wounds but it gets too soggy to do anything. It throws this temporary protection onto deep-cutting emotions instead of helping them heal. Having a positive outlook on life is good, but just like anything else, is healthy in moderation.